I've been living in a
Utopia for some time now. Busy with deadlines. Busy going out with
people I call friends. Busy...
Keeping my self busy kept
me alive. I was happy to say “No I can't, I'm busy” because I
was telling the truth. And then I met her.
She was beautiful and
confident. All we talked about was work. We talked about the fact
that she has a job and I don't. “Senior programmer?”, she asked.
I didn't know how to reply to her. I was just staring at her mouth,
waiting for her next word, feeling week and vulnerable. I had to go.
I had to leave. But she left instead.
I gathered my stuff, I
paid my bill and I started walking, as I was leaving I waved good
bye. She yelled at me: “Send me your resume, send me your cv”. I quickly said “Yeah
yeah” and I run away.
In the safety of my home I
replay the whole scene and I only feel stress. These feelings inside
me can't be healthy. Then I try to comfort me and my only consolation
is that we are all dead and buried. We just don't know it yet.
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